Comedy Legend Cathleen Rittereiser featured on the Pulver Blog. Filling in the blanks, Twitter is.....
http://pulverblog.pulver.com/archives/006724.html
I live on Planet Twitter.
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Katie Couric bombing... crazy, but it just might work!
I know I should not make this a habit, but I liked my comments on Celebri-spiral's recent post about Katie Couric's floundering news anchorship so much I decided to post them here.
Katie should just cut to the chase, travel to Iraq and get her head blown off in a roadside bombing. That will perk up (no pun intended) the ratings in no time. Just the real-time, live combination plastic surgery and colon exam alone will make American Idol look like that Heather Graham show that got cancelled in the middle of the first episode.
Read the original post and comments here: Celebri-spiral™: It's US vs. Them: March 12, 2007: Is Katie a Victim of Celebri-spiral Withdrawal?
Katie should just cut to the chase, travel to Iraq and get her head blown off in a roadside bombing. That will perk up (no pun intended) the ratings in no time. Just the real-time, live combination plastic surgery and colon exam alone will make American Idol look like that Heather Graham show that got cancelled in the middle of the first episode.
Read the original post and comments here: Celebri-spiral™: It's US vs. Them: March 12, 2007: Is Katie a Victim of Celebri-spiral Withdrawal?
Monday, February 26, 2007
Commentary on Comments on Oscar Commentary
Dave at Celebri-Spiral posted Oscar commentary today http://celebri-spiral.blogspot.com/2007/02/february-26-2007-and-winner-islesbians.html. The best of the running commentary we produced last night on our private pop-culture obsessives blog. I haven't organized my thoughts, but felt inspired by Dave's work and comments from his readers. Therefore today's post is my commentary on others comments about Dave's Oscar commentary.
I have been predicting for weeks now that Simon Cowell will have the last laugh. Jennifer Hudson is the Haing S. Ngor of the the 2007 Oscars. Who I just creepily learned died on February 25th 1996. 11 years to the day later Jennifer Hudson takes his place as a "One Hit Wonder" Oscar winner. Or more precisely, the "Never-Acted, Playing Self, Inspirational Gimmick" win. The most classic example: Harold Russell. From his IMDB entry: "He lost both hands. After receiving hooks he was chosen to make an Army training film. William Wyler saw the film and decided to change a character in his film "The Best Years of Our Lives" (1946) from a spastic to a double amputee. (Editor's Note: Where's Corky when you need him?) For this role he received 2 Oscars, a Best Supporting and one for being an inspiration to all returning veterans. He is the only actor to receive 2 Oscars for the same role." For the full story--http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0751174/bio.
Of course Jennifer Hudson was inevitable and the only other inevitable thing after this is obscurity. You should thank the Oscar gods they don't give out Oscars for inspiring failed American Idol contestants. Trust me, Bill Condon should have been standing right there with her because my money says he coached every move of that performance. I feel Simon smirking...
As for people that apparently got some coaching, hats off to Forrest Whittaker for dropping the "Mumbling Shocked Guy" persona (maybe he was just doing that to convince Oscar voters how good he really was as a Ugandan tyrant)and embracing his inner Bill Clinton. His speech was thoughtful, appropriate, heartfelt and classy.
Speaking of people that think they're classy, Gwynnie is in a class by herself. Here is my curse on Gwynnie: May you one day be fatter than Al Gore.
Al might be afraid of global warming but someone needs to stick him in a sauna for a few months. Or put him to work building the fence between the US and Mexico so we stop losing all those directing jobs and Oscars to cheap Mexican imports.
Thank Dave for googling Randy Stone. However I had to re-google him myself to answer the question that Suzanne answered for us. "Is he that cute guy that always went to the Oscars with her?" Thank you Suzanne. And adios Randy....
And thank you Dave, for not stealing all my good NAFTA and F Troop jokes. Stay tuned.....
I have been predicting for weeks now that Simon Cowell will have the last laugh. Jennifer Hudson is the Haing S. Ngor of the the 2007 Oscars. Who I just creepily learned died on February 25th 1996. 11 years to the day later Jennifer Hudson takes his place as a "One Hit Wonder" Oscar winner. Or more precisely, the "Never-Acted, Playing Self, Inspirational Gimmick" win. The most classic example: Harold Russell. From his IMDB entry: "He lost both hands. After receiving hooks he was chosen to make an Army training film. William Wyler saw the film and decided to change a character in his film "The Best Years of Our Lives" (1946) from a spastic to a double amputee. (Editor's Note: Where's Corky when you need him?) For this role he received 2 Oscars, a Best Supporting and one for being an inspiration to all returning veterans. He is the only actor to receive 2 Oscars for the same role." For the full story--http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0751174/bio.
Of course Jennifer Hudson was inevitable and the only other inevitable thing after this is obscurity. You should thank the Oscar gods they don't give out Oscars for inspiring failed American Idol contestants. Trust me, Bill Condon should have been standing right there with her because my money says he coached every move of that performance. I feel Simon smirking...
As for people that apparently got some coaching, hats off to Forrest Whittaker for dropping the "Mumbling Shocked Guy" persona (maybe he was just doing that to convince Oscar voters how good he really was as a Ugandan tyrant)and embracing his inner Bill Clinton. His speech was thoughtful, appropriate, heartfelt and classy.
Speaking of people that think they're classy, Gwynnie is in a class by herself. Here is my curse on Gwynnie: May you one day be fatter than Al Gore.
Al might be afraid of global warming but someone needs to stick him in a sauna for a few months. Or put him to work building the fence between the US and Mexico so we stop losing all those directing jobs and Oscars to cheap Mexican imports.
Thank Dave for googling Randy Stone. However I had to re-google him myself to answer the question that Suzanne answered for us. "Is he that cute guy that always went to the Oscars with her?" Thank you Suzanne. And adios Randy....
And thank you Dave, for not stealing all my good NAFTA and F Troop jokes. Stay tuned.....
Tuesday, February 6, 2007
Uncle Tom's Stadium
My favorite ridiculous commercial was the Coke tribute to black history month. Jackie Robinson, Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King. Culminating in Super Bowl Sunday, the most important day of all in black, cola-consumption history. It took me a few minutes to realize what they meant. 2 black coaches coaching the Super Bowl. Really? Long overdue for sure, but as important as Martin Luther King? Sorry, but it's more like a woman being named to head the secretarial pool.
As for K-Fed, at least he doesn't take himself too seriously. I actually have more respect for him and I just loved that hilarious, savyy commercial. Now he looks like the sane, classy one. I see a Saturday Night live hosting gig in this man's future, or at least a cameo on the Weekend Update.
I'd like fries and a coke with that.
As for K-Fed, at least he doesn't take himself too seriously. I actually have more respect for him and I just loved that hilarious, savyy commercial. Now he looks like the sane, classy one. I see a Saturday Night live hosting gig in this man's future, or at least a cameo on the Weekend Update.
I'd like fries and a coke with that.
Friday, January 26, 2007
Celebri-spiral: It's US vs. Them: January 23, 2007: Analyzing the Oscars Without My Personal Bias
Check out another valued opinion.
Celebri-spiral: It's US vs. Them: January 23, 2007: Analyzing the Oscars Without My Personal Bias
Celebri-spiral: It's US vs. Them: January 23, 2007: Analyzing the Oscars Without My Personal Bias
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Tuckered Out on the Oscars
How the hell did Forrest Tucker get nominated for an Oscar? F Troop went off the air 40 years ago! And if the Academy nominated Forrest Tucker how could it ignore Larry Storch as Corporal Agaran?
And I can't keep all the Queen Elizabeths straight. Is Helen Mirren Elizabeth I or Elizabeth II? I thought Judi Dench was Elizabeth I. Wait a second. How could Helen Mirren and Judi Dench both receive nominations in the same category? Aren't they the same person?
When, when, when did Leonardo DiCaprio become Robert DeNiro? Did Martin Scorcese get so disgusted with DeNiro's twilight years, phoned-in career that he sought revenge by making Leonardo DiCaprio his muse? After all, Marty still toils for his Oscar while DeNiro collects paychecks. Or has Marty gotten so addled by his relentless pursuit of an Oscar, any Oscar, that he confused DiCaprio with DeNiro? Aside from similar last names and heritages, the late Yvonne DeCarlo had more in common with Robert DeNiro than Leonardo DiCaprio.
Great to see Djimon Honsou get nominated again. I loved him as the big black guy in Green Mile.
New Rule: Black trumps old. Exceeding expectations trumps old. Serious scary dramatic black trumps friendly, feel-good box office smash black, Thus Forrest Tucker beats Peter O'Toole and Will Smith. Eddie Murphy beats the deserving Alan Arkin.
From the "We had no idea this guy could act, let's give him a supporting actor nomination" category.
2007 winner is Mark Wahlberg. He joins past honorees Matt Dillon and Thomas Haden Church.
From the "I am so tuckered out from getting nominated every year mainly for being a professional, buying a new dress Joan and Melissa Rivers mock and showing up at these damn awards to lose yet again" category.
50+ category: Meryl Streep, Judi Dench (since the coveted Best Actress Oscar eludes her). Under 50: Kate Winslet.
Snubs: Ben Affleck in Hollywoodland, Annette Bening in Running with Scissors, Ali G for Borat. Honorable mention snub: The rest of the Little Miss Sunshine cast. The British lady and Stanley Tucci from Devil Wears Prada.
Most predictable snub: Dreamgirls. In retrospect, I saw this one coming and I didn't care. I for one, did not want to hear another word about Jamie Foxx's dead grandma. Bring on Forrest Tucker's lazy eye disease and dead father.
Most incomprehensible casting in 2006: Terry Bradshaw in "Failure to Launch".
Where have they hidden Benecio del Toro?
I predict the Best Supporting Actress Award gets announced first by George Clooney. Once Jennifer Hudson finishes her teary speech, will she or George be the one to yell out from the stage, "Abigail Breslin, go to bed!"?
Comedy Legend, go to bed! You are all tuckered out!
And I can't keep all the Queen Elizabeths straight. Is Helen Mirren Elizabeth I or Elizabeth II? I thought Judi Dench was Elizabeth I. Wait a second. How could Helen Mirren and Judi Dench both receive nominations in the same category? Aren't they the same person?
When, when, when did Leonardo DiCaprio become Robert DeNiro? Did Martin Scorcese get so disgusted with DeNiro's twilight years, phoned-in career that he sought revenge by making Leonardo DiCaprio his muse? After all, Marty still toils for his Oscar while DeNiro collects paychecks. Or has Marty gotten so addled by his relentless pursuit of an Oscar, any Oscar, that he confused DiCaprio with DeNiro? Aside from similar last names and heritages, the late Yvonne DeCarlo had more in common with Robert DeNiro than Leonardo DiCaprio.
Great to see Djimon Honsou get nominated again. I loved him as the big black guy in Green Mile.
New Rule: Black trumps old. Exceeding expectations trumps old. Serious scary dramatic black trumps friendly, feel-good box office smash black, Thus Forrest Tucker beats Peter O'Toole and Will Smith. Eddie Murphy beats the deserving Alan Arkin.
From the "We had no idea this guy could act, let's give him a supporting actor nomination" category.
2007 winner is Mark Wahlberg. He joins past honorees Matt Dillon and Thomas Haden Church.
From the "I am so tuckered out from getting nominated every year mainly for being a professional, buying a new dress Joan and Melissa Rivers mock and showing up at these damn awards to lose yet again" category.
50+ category: Meryl Streep, Judi Dench (since the coveted Best Actress Oscar eludes her). Under 50: Kate Winslet.
Snubs: Ben Affleck in Hollywoodland, Annette Bening in Running with Scissors, Ali G for Borat. Honorable mention snub: The rest of the Little Miss Sunshine cast. The British lady and Stanley Tucci from Devil Wears Prada.
Most predictable snub: Dreamgirls. In retrospect, I saw this one coming and I didn't care. I for one, did not want to hear another word about Jamie Foxx's dead grandma. Bring on Forrest Tucker's lazy eye disease and dead father.
Most incomprehensible casting in 2006: Terry Bradshaw in "Failure to Launch".
Where have they hidden Benecio del Toro?
I predict the Best Supporting Actress Award gets announced first by George Clooney. Once Jennifer Hudson finishes her teary speech, will she or George be the one to yell out from the stage, "Abigail Breslin, go to bed!"?
Comedy Legend, go to bed! You are all tuckered out!
Thursday, January 11, 2007
9th Blog of Xmas: Scale of 1 to 10, Comedy Legend Virtue Ratings
Tomorrow marks the 9th day since the 9th day of Xmas. The nine ladies kept me from blogging. We did the inertia dance. Usually, the 9 Ladies Dancing represent virtues and spiritual characteristics, officially known as "The Nine Fruit of the Holy Spirit". To evaluate my chances for becoming an official member of the 9 Ladies Dancing, I rated myself on each quality on the scale of 1 (low) to 10 (high).
Comedy Legend Virtue Ratings
Comedy Legend Virtue Ratings
- Virtue/Rating
- love 5
- joy 4
- peace 2
- patience -3
- kindness 1
- generosity .75
- faithfulness Depends. For jerks the rating is 10. If you are nice, it's a 3. Avg. 6.5
- gentleness 1.38
- self-control Such a stupid question, I can't believe they would ask me. What the hell? I would never even take this dumb test if I did not have self-control. I feel so insulted and demeaned. I could beat the daylights out of the Nine Ladies Dancing selection committee. Such a bunch of uptight morons. I am so angry. Just livid, livid.
'Hello, 7-11. Look just take my order or I will scream until you go deaf. Bring me 3 bags of supersize Wise potato chips--the blue bag --last time you totally screwed up and sent me the green bags with the onion-flavored chips and they totally suck. 2 bags of 1 pound size M&Ms. The new cobalt blue bag crunchy ones and classic plain. A container of Ben and Jerry's New York Super Fudge Chunk and a packet of Lactaid. Got it??!! On the double!!! Huh! Huh! Speak up or speak English! What do you mean you don't have Super Fudge Chunk? Well figure it out. Get it somewhere else on the way for chrissake. I'm paying you to deliver it. Now hop to it, stat, pronto or whatever means move it in whatever language you speak.
Where’s the vodka? I can’t find the vodka. Ugh. I hate gin and ran out of tonic water. For chrissakes!!! DAMN IT. Where’s the cough syrup? I bet that lazy cleaning lady stole it. I hate these plates. [Editor’s Note: sounds of smashing, expletives, doorbell]. No I don’t have anything smaller than a $50 and I am not giving you a $40 tip. Too bad. Now get out of here. [Editors’ Note: sounds of ripping, chomping, slurping, labored breathing, sighing]. Self control. I think I will err on the low side and give myself a 7.
- Nine Ladies Dancing Virtue Score: 23.63
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